Skip to main content

Parenting and all that


I write this after my sisters' graduation ceremony, a rather ostentatious ceremony considering that the graduation from my own college took place on the last day school and the ceremony was not very different from the usual school assembly. But times have changed, practices have changed and people have changed. 
Around me are all the proud parents of the graduates of this elite institution. When you look at some of them, it is difficult to say to whom this event assumes more significance, to them or their children who are graduating. There are some who are there simply there to fulfil their customary duty as parents but unless I am wrong, most are here because this event signifies not just a milestone in the lives of their children, but in their very own lives. As the principal kicks off the ceremony, listing the names of the elites of the elites and boasting the numerous academic accolades of the students. Names such as Harvard, Cambridge, DSTA, A Star all comes up frequently during his speech and he ends by claiming that a a 'bright future of opportunity awaits this talented group'.

I suppose this is what makes parenting truly satisfying, the proof that your child is succeeding and therefore the proof that you yourself have succeeded in the role as parents. Parenting is all about the emotional satisfaction. Of late, I have had quite a few discourses with my friend, who despite having a girlfriend is strongly against the idea of having kids. His defense is simply this ' Why would anyone ever want to have kids?' 

To be honest, in current times, it is an extremely sound defense. In the past, during the times of the extended family, having many kids ensured that there were extra hands to help the parents at work or in the house and when they became old, the kids would be there to see them through their old age. Now, having kids translates to more work and more stress. And once they reach a certain age, they move out and start their own families. If you consider the whole decision from a rational point of view, it simply does not make sense to have kids anymore.

But humans are more emotional than rational. And despite the numerous difficulties of parenting, they recognise and appreciate the little moments of joy that parenting brings along with it. Either because of that  or because the contraception did not work, they carry on having kids.  Even Ali G the comedian, acknowledged the huge sacrifice parents make for their children during his speech at the  commencement ceremony at Harvard, 

"All you fathers out there, You have made some choices. With that money (the $38000 they sped on their child's tuition fees), you could have bought a top of the range Lexus, but instead you chose to invest in your kids future."

But then he added on right after.

"Are you mental?"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An Eye for an Eye

"Something that three or four years ago you told me was one of the touchstones of maturity: being nice to people even when they’re not nice to you…" - William Styron It was an plan that came out of nowhere. Perhaps half depressed by the winter and half depressed by the inactivity at work, there was sufficient turmoil in the mind to create these type of plans and then let it fester, until something that started off with a what-if turned into a why-not. It would have been the perfect revenge for the past hurt and humiliation that was yet to completely heal.  The circumstances were similar. On one side, an eager visitor who had traveled far to say "Hello" and on the other side, a host, bewildered and surprised by this visit. In the first case, the host would not receive the visitor, who would turn back humiliated and vowing never again. Now the roles were reversed and I was the host. What if I agreed to receive? What if in reality I did not plan to receive? ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Sparing the Rod

 She gave me a look of deep displeasure, not very atypical of the look most members of the opposite gender gave me. “You know you can’t do that in Germany?”, she asserted with the same authority my mother used to tell me about not messing around in her kitchen.  “Yes I am aware”, I meekly responded, knowing well that any kind of argument about this would not end well, so it was better to close off the topic quietly and unlike the kitchen, I could not afford to get kicked out of Germany. She was not the first to respond with such hostility to what seemed like the most natural of things in my experience. The last one who told me the same was a teacher I had met at a party. When she sounded shocked that I was ok with it and said it was not right, I (with some alcoholic courage) had retorted, “How would you discipline them then if they do something wrong?” “I would tell them I am very disappointed with them”. I almost laughed. However, that was very much the theory of my new frien...
Post a Comment
Read more

Passage to Vietnam : Part 2 - The Food

Imagine your friend passes you a fully boiled egg, garnished in onion and sauce. You use your chopsticks, lift it up to your mouth and bite of half the egg. It does not tear away as easily as you thought it would. And it tastes queer. Then while chewing away at that half, you look down at the other half on your plate and you see tiny grey feathers and a tiny leg bone staring back at you. My exact feeling at that moment was like I was making love to a woman and she suddenly reveals in the middle that she used to be a man. In short, I wanted to puke. I am not a big fan of Vietnamese cuisine. During my 18 days stay there, my Viet friends were kind enough to bring me around and let me taste about every kind of street food and drink, from snails to sticky rice to Viet baguettes to local alcohol. Other than certain items here and there, I generally thought the food lacked any kind of strong flavour to it. Plus, for some reason, I could not understand why the Viets went to the extent of ea...
Post a Comment
Read more