Skip to main content

A Prayer

You wake up with a sense of disillusionment. Ok perhaps there is no disillusionment (yet) but you just find it difficult to wake up. There is nothing to look forward at work. It is like there is no reason to get up. It is like there is no reason to write. Nothing interests you anymore, not even the idea of seeing her. You simply cannot get yourself out of bed. “For what?”, you ask yourself. It’s the same shit, different day. Same mistakes, different day. Same people, different day.

In other words, it is a bad spell, which could be unconsciously caused by things that are weighing in on my mind, or sometimes there is no reason to. It just happens.

All I can say is when you feel like that, take a moment. Take a moment to appreciate, firstly, that you have the time to feel and then write about this emotion. That this freedom is perhaps not even afforded to millions of people across the world. Secondly, appreciate the fact that you are alive, for tiredness can be the result of a lack of interest in this beautiful things called life whose best moments we often take for granted. Appreciate there are ones who love you and ones you can love back. And if you have the courage, take a moment to tell them that you love them or to make them happy, for you will find you derive the greatest happiness from making others happy.

Appreciate life and that you are her living it now.


PS: I wrote this when I was feeling like crap. That’s the interesting thing about writing. As I write, the solution comes and things usually end on a positive note.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An Eye for an Eye

"Something that three or four years ago you told me was one of the touchstones of maturity: being nice to people even when they’re not nice to you…" - William Styron It was an plan that came out of nowhere. Perhaps half depressed by the winter and half depressed by the inactivity at work, there was sufficient turmoil in the mind to create these type of plans and then let it fester, until something that started off with a what-if turned into a why-not. It would have been the perfect revenge for the past hurt and humiliation that was yet to completely heal.  The circumstances were similar. On one side, an eager visitor who had traveled far to say "Hello" and on the other side, a host, bewildered and surprised by this visit. In the first case, the host would not receive the visitor, who would turn back humiliated and vowing never again. Now the roles were reversed and I was the host. What if I agreed to receive? What if in reality I did not plan to receive? ...
Post a Comment
Read more

An Ode to Marriage

I remember pondering about the need for marriage during a certain period of my life. Partially inspired by stoicism, I saw a man as an island in a big ocean, continuously being battered by the waves and storms, but holding fort and growing strong with each test. It was also when the idea of monasticism greatly appealed to me, to leave behind, for the lack of a better work, the bullshit of society and trying to attain enlightenment.  Somehow that idea fell apart after a brief meditation stint in a monastery, but the idea of marriage I resisted. The freedom that came from being single seemed too precious to let go. Furthermore life was complicated as it is. Why complicate it further by introducing another person to that life, someone who would bring her own mannerisms, rules, habits, many that might end up conflicting with your own. However, a lot of these ideas and beliefs start to die when friends of yours each start getting into their own relationships and have no more time for yo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Sparing the Rod

 She gave me a look of deep displeasure, not very atypical of the look most members of the opposite gender gave me. “You know you can’t do that in Germany?”, she asserted with the same authority my mother used to tell me about not messing around in her kitchen.  “Yes I am aware”, I meekly responded, knowing well that any kind of argument about this would not end well, so it was better to close off the topic quietly and unlike the kitchen, I could not afford to get kicked out of Germany. She was not the first to respond with such hostility to what seemed like the most natural of things in my experience. The last one who told me the same was a teacher I had met at a party. When she sounded shocked that I was ok with it and said it was not right, I (with some alcoholic courage) had retorted, “How would you discipline them then if they do something wrong?” “I would tell them I am very disappointed with them”. I almost laughed. However, that was very much the theory of my new frien...
Post a Comment
Read more