Skip to main content

Understanding People

During my trip to Vietnam, my team stayed over at the house of one of my friend's relatives house for s short while. Our neighbour, who happened to be my friend's uncle, had a boy, about 12 years old, who would come over for a kick-about with the soccer ball once in a while.

Everyday, I would see him play the game with my friends. The game was elementary. Pass the ball to the person playing with you and the person passes it back and the game goes on like that. In short, a simple passing game. After a while, I thought, this has gone on for too long. It was time to take the game to the next level, maybe teach the kid to play one on one, perhaps dribble the ball a bit. Otherwise, all the kid would learn was to just pass the ball.

So one night, I told my friend who was playing with him to go take a rest and I took over her. The boy sadly knew little or no English, so I thought the best way to tell him what to do was to well, do it myself. So I took the ball to him, then dribbled past him. He looks confused as what to do. So I did it again and again and again. Then I passed him the ball hoping that he understood what I was trying to do.

Instead of taking me on, he signalled he had to return home and he left.

With me standing there totally dejected.

Maybe I am reading too much into that event, but I had a good thought about it and I came to the conclusion that more often than not we always want to force our ideas, our opinions onto others. Maybe before we expect them to accept those ideas, we should spend some time listening to their first. Because it is only when you listen to people that people will listen to you.

So maybe I should have just played passing with him. Or maybe as I said, I am reading too much into the situation. For all you know, the kid may just have been thinking,

"What is the idiot trying to do with the ball?"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An Ode to Marriage

I remember pondering about the need for marriage during a certain period of my life. Partially inspired by stoicism, I saw a man as an island in a big ocean, continuously being battered by the waves and storms, but holding fort and growing strong with each test. It was also when the idea of monasticism greatly appealed to me, to leave behind, for the lack of a better work, the bullshit of society and trying to attain enlightenment.  Somehow that idea fell apart after a brief meditation stint in a monastery, but the idea of marriage I resisted. The freedom that came from being single seemed too precious to let go. Furthermore life was complicated as it is. Why complicate it further by introducing another person to that life, someone who would bring her own mannerisms, rules, habits, many that might end up conflicting with your own. However, a lot of these ideas and beliefs start to die when friends of yours each start getting into their own relationships and have no more time for yo...

Sparing the Rod

 She gave me a look of deep displeasure, not very atypical of the look most members of the opposite gender gave me. “You know you can’t do that in Germany?”, she asserted with the same authority my mother used to tell me about not messing around in her kitchen.  “Yes I am aware”, I meekly responded, knowing well that any kind of argument about this would not end well, so it was better to close off the topic quietly and unlike the kitchen, I could not afford to get kicked out of Germany. She was not the first to respond with such hostility to what seemed like the most natural of things in my experience. The last one who told me the same was a teacher I had met at a party. When she sounded shocked that I was ok with it and said it was not right, I (with some alcoholic courage) had retorted, “How would you discipline them then if they do something wrong?” “I would tell them I am very disappointed with them”. I almost laughed. However, that was very much the theory of my new frien...

On the road to Brandenburg

“Aint no sunshine when she’s gone”. “Aint warm when she’s away”. The music floated from somewhere on the platform as our train paused at the station before it moved onto its final destination to Berlin Brandenburg airport. Up to that moment, the trip at daybreak had been filled with the typical unspoken marital tension. A tension that originated from differing expectations on how to prepare for a trip back home, a trip I had decided to skip this time and a trip that would be her first, alone and across continents. Though like all disagreements, the current one brought up memories of past ones, adding fuel to a fire that if left alone, would have died on its own. As even Winnie the Pooh rightfully knew, “Sometimes the smallest things takes up the most space in your heart”. So the fire persisted silently as terrible May seemed to encroach into June. Till Bill Withers husky voice floated into my ears with the lyrics I had heard countless times before. The only difference being up to then ...