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An Eye for an Eye

"Something that three or four years ago you told me was one of the touchstones of maturity: being nice to people even when they’re not nice to you…"
- William Styron

It was an plan that came out of nowhere. Perhaps half depressed by the winter and half depressed by the inactivity at work, there was sufficient turmoil in the mind to create these type of plans and then let it fester, until something that started off with a what-if turned into a why-not. It would have been the perfect revenge for the past hurt and humiliation that was yet to completely heal. 

The circumstances were similar. On one side, an eager visitor who had traveled far to say "Hello" and on the other side, a host, bewildered and surprised by this visit. In the first case, the host would not receive the visitor, who would turn back humiliated and vowing never again. Now the roles were reversed and I was the host. What if I agreed to receive? What if in reality I did not plan to receive? What if, why the visitor waited patiently out in the cold, I said I would not receive?

In fact, why not? After all, if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

Though if I did, there would always be the possibility that one day I would regret it. It was always possible that I would look back on this day when I broke out of line with my own character, my code of conduct, my basic decency and duty as a host to  traveler and my own humanity and regret that I did so. And what if this would be a precedent to future actions, when decency could be compromised under preferential circumstances, because it had been done before.

And the slightest possibility that I would hold onto that regret was enough for me to turn to love, humanity and friendship, the values that sets us free and lets us go to sleep soundly at night.

An eye for eye..Not this time..

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