Evasion of Responsibility

Recently, an old colleague of my father paid us a visit. After he left, my father revealed to me an interesting story about his friend's father, who had been a Hindu priest. Being a man whose life was devoted to his duty to god and family, he led a life of simplicity and discipline. When he died, his own son remarked, "The old man wasted his life. No drinking, no pleasures, no money."

When I look at my own life, the goals I set for myself, they are rather grand. Find my passion, travel and perhaps work overseas, live a life unobstructed by the burden and responsibilities of family, be a free bird. Though it is ironic that the generation just before me lived by an entirely different set of goals. They were brought up with the mindset of starting a family and working hard to provide the best quality of life possible for the family. Getting married, having children, working, looking after their old parents were all a duty, not a choice. Job satisfaction did not matter as long the family could be provided for.

Obviously, with time, attitudes changed. Increasingly more and more people care about how happy and satisfied they are with their lives. Naturally, happiness and responsibility tends to be mutually exclusive, at least in the short run. We are perhaps more selfish than ever in the pursuit of our own goals and dreams.

Though to be honest, I am not in a position to state which is right. To live your parents's dreams of settling down or to live my own dream. Both sides have its rights and wrongs and perhaps there is a way to satisfy them both. For a while, I did not realise that. I used to tell my mother that after I graduated, I would fly off to some deep corner of Africa and live a life of social service. Until one day she asked me, "Then what about me and your father? Who is going to look after us?". As much as I am ashamed to say it, I admit that in the midst of my own dreams, this slipped my mind.

This thing, responsibility, we can never fully run away from it. Sometimes, if you think it is too much of a sacrifice to let go some of your own goals because of it, think about the people who gave up their own goals so that they were responsible for you and your welfare. It can't be too much to ask for.