Skip to main content

Trends of the Educated

One of the greatest joys of this exchange are dinners in a cross cultural setting that brings forth current day issues and culturally diverse opinions on it. Recently I had the privilege of being part of one, which began when one of the girls, who was doing her phD in Sweden, expressed her concern of how difficult it would be for her to find a husband in China given her superior educational background. The issue she said, would not be raised by her potential husband, but by his parents stuck in an outdated attitude towards marriage.

Her situation received a lot of support from the table and the discussion went onto include how the girl, if she was better educated and older would be at the receiving ending of much criticism from the elders. We talked about how education was changing attitudes towards these ways of thought, how today, what mattered was the person and not society’s measure of him or her and how we were all becoming more humane.

In this mood of openness, I decided to put forth a more radical concept forward. I asked,

“Ok. So age and education does not matter to you anymore. What about sexual orientation. What if your kid came to you and told you he was not straight, that he had a partner of the same sex?”   

The replies were not as forthcoming. There was some hesitation, followed by a I-would-rather-not-talk-about-this answer,

“Do you really think so?”
“Nah. I don’t think that it is going to happen”

And that was the end of it. Personally, I found it surprising and unsurprising. Surprising because a group that and declared itself to be educated and open to modern ways of thought found this issue still a taboo. Unsurprising because, on deeper thought, their response created a distinction between education and keeping up with the trend.

To clarify, accepting a girl who is older or of a better education, is a more and more widely accepted trend of modern society. One does not require a high level of education to understand why the opposite way of thought was chauvinistic and unfair, especially if it is coupled with the peer pressure of seeing everyone else accepting the same trend.

But true education goes beyond that. It teaches a person to see 20, 30, 40, 50 years down the road and see the issues that will confront him then. It makes him question his ardent beliefs and wonder if it is something he should still cling onto. In short, it enlightens him to see the difference in keeping up with trends and the need to question the untrendy. 

And when you think of, if nobody broke away from the herd and put forth something radical, phD and age would be the least of our worries today. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Fool's Pride

I was rolling up the sleeve of my uniform, preparing for a call up that might never come, when I realised that somehow I was overcome by a strange sense of pride, a pride that wanted the length of my sleeve to be precise as I have always pictured in my mind. Any longer, I would look shabby. Any shorter, I would look amateur. Then I donned the green, tightened the velcro around my waist and looked in the mirror. It was just like before and the memories started flooding me. I never really liked it when I donned it for 2 years in a row. Then I was in a place where I detested the culture, the harsh discipline, the unreasonable demands and the lack of purpose in everything I did. But now that it was over, when I look back, it was perhaps the greatest time of my life. The suffering, the digging, the starving, the cold, the banter, the rowdiness, the jungle, the marches,the mountains, the food, the stories, the friendships, it was all worth the 2 years. A girl friend of mine once asked...

Clubbing

Somebody up there do not want me to club. It has been one experience that has eluded me despite my multiple visits, that has brought as much excitement as me sitting in a meditative pose.  This is all the more interesting because my intention was simply to get a feel of it, and not kickstart a career as a party animal, that would either way not work for a person who dared not even to dance in the shower. Perhaps  though, it is not the circumstances, but the person to blame. I should have known I was not the party kind the very first time I set off. As I was tying my shoe laces, my father would politely enquire where I was going to. “Going to club”, I responded. “What? Like a community club?”, he carried on. I am not the most superstitious of persons, but when you are about to do something, it has to start off on the right tone. There and then, my father set the expectations of me, and all the stamps I received on my waist before entering the club became but so...

Marriage and All That : Part 2

"How about I get married?" "Are you serious?" "Yea" "No really. If you are serious, I can start looking for one" "Uhh....Nah. I was just kidding" After a while, she stopped asking me if I were serious. Instead, she would laugh it off every time I suggested it, which was the original intention of my question. For me it was just comic relief, this idea of marriage that parents back in India would pester their children with once they reached just about where I was right now; young, working with a steady income and of totally no use at home. Though when she did ask me if I was serious, I do remember feeling a palpitation in my heart, the kind one gets when having to make a yuge decision (#trump2016 #makeamericagreatagain), knowing very well that she, along with an army of aunts, waited for my green light to start searching for a bride for the most promising of their nephews. A NRI (non residential Indian used to refer to the ...