Skip to main content

Me and Myself

It was meant to be just a poster showcase, an event to display our efforts working with an external industrial collaborator, but it was still a milestone, one of the final milestones of what was once purported to be the most fun periods of our life; university. Once all the excitement from the innumerable selfies, the last taupok in uni, all died down and I made my way back home, I was overcome by a huge surge of sorrow, a dawning realisation that it was all going to be over. 

Out of nowhere, there was a gaping hole in me that needed filling.

Not that I have any regrets about university, similar to the one I had about college. I entered uni with the intention that the rigorous academic life I imposed on myself would not be repeated, but I would take the opportunity to try my hand at anything and everything. Though I struggled initially, I eventually achieved that goal, learning some valuable lessons about life along the way. 

However, the greatest achievement about this period are the people I met and the friends I made. Though it is also the same reason for that inner hole. The thought that after all the good times, everyone is going to set off on their separate paths, to fulfil their individual destinies all across the world, to start their own families. It might be years before I see many of them. Some I may never even see again. 

It reminded me of sentence I once came across in a book I read quite long ago. 'Mother, father, brothers, sisters, friends, relatives, colleagues, why do we meet if only to part one day?' It made me question why I always pointed to them as reason to be grateful everytime I hit a low point in my life. When everything was going wrong, there was always comfort in knowing that I had all these people around me. They were my pillars of strengths, but never did I once consider that these pillars would not be there forever. 

Maybe they are not our greatest strength. Maybe our greatest strength is us and ourselves, nothing more. All that we possess or we assume we possess, be it people or things, are transient and the only thing that will be by our side from birth to death is us. Maybe the first person that we needed to get to know, to love and to support, but perhaps we never did, is just us.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Fool's Pride

I was rolling up the sleeve of my uniform, preparing for a call up that might never come, when I realised that somehow I was overcome by a strange sense of pride, a pride that wanted the length of my sleeve to be precise as I have always pictured in my mind. Any longer, I would look shabby. Any shorter, I would look amateur. Then I donned the green, tightened the velcro around my waist and looked in the mirror. It was just like before and the memories started flooding me. I never really liked it when I donned it for 2 years in a row. Then I was in a place where I detested the culture, the harsh discipline, the unreasonable demands and the lack of purpose in everything I did. But now that it was over, when I look back, it was perhaps the greatest time of my life. The suffering, the digging, the starving, the cold, the banter, the rowdiness, the jungle, the marches,the mountains, the food, the stories, the friendships, it was all worth the 2 years. A girl friend of mine once asked...
2 comments
Read more

Clubbing

Somebody up there do not want me to club. It has been one experience that has eluded me despite my multiple visits, that has brought as much excitement as me sitting in a meditative pose.  This is all the more interesting because my intention was simply to get a feel of it, and not kickstart a career as a party animal, that would either way not work for a person who dared not even to dance in the shower. Perhaps  though, it is not the circumstances, but the person to blame. I should have known I was not the party kind the very first time I set off. As I was tying my shoe laces, my father would politely enquire where I was going to. “Going to club”, I responded. “What? Like a community club?”, he carried on. I am not the most superstitious of persons, but when you are about to do something, it has to start off on the right tone. There and then, my father set the expectations of me, and all the stamps I received on my waist before entering the club became but so...
1 comment
Read more

Marriage and All That : Part 2

"How about I get married?" "Are you serious?" "Yea" "No really. If you are serious, I can start looking for one" "Uhh....Nah. I was just kidding" After a while, she stopped asking me if I were serious. Instead, she would laugh it off every time I suggested it, which was the original intention of my question. For me it was just comic relief, this idea of marriage that parents back in India would pester their children with once they reached just about where I was right now; young, working with a steady income and of totally no use at home. Though when she did ask me if I was serious, I do remember feeling a palpitation in my heart, the kind one gets when having to make a yuge decision (#trump2016 #makeamericagreatagain), knowing very well that she, along with an army of aunts, waited for my green light to start searching for a bride for the most promising of their nephews. A NRI (non residential Indian used to refer to the ...
2 comments
Read more