A History of Month Long Relationships

Having temporarily being resettled in Houston, where pedestrian paths are either absent or empty enough to make you wonder why you are walking, I have had no choice but to hop on a car rental program. Interestingly, the program requires that the car be returned every month for a new one, a practise while seemingly troublesome, is a joy in experimentation, with every car bringing with her, her own unique character. Here are their stories...

Mitsubishi Lancer

The very first one. She eased me into the American life, their left handed habits and showed me the freedom of America's big highways. Rarely demanding and quietly efficient, I had no complaints, except one. 

She came with a smell. 

I tried what I could. Perfumes, air fresheners, all, but the smell wouldn't go. At first uncomfortable, I got used to it after a while, but every time one of my friends met her, they would ask, "Oh, whats that smell?" or "Waah! The smell still there?" and all I could do was smile regretfully. First impression was not her forte.

Toyotta Corolla

Rarely is a man lucky on his second try, but I was. She never asked for much and she was simple and a true work horse. 

Most importantly though, she had such a great rear (view camera), a perfect exemplification of the fact that there is nothing more sexier in a woman than the one who watches her man's back.

Corolla Again

When society/car rental deemed that the previous relationship had to end after a month, it was with a heavy heart. And I did what any man would do. 

I asked for her sister.

Same personality. Just a different color.

Chrysler 200

Ah the Megan Fox! She was offered by chance and I stood there in disbelief not knowing if I had heard it right. She was a beauty and would purr like a angry cat when pressed and charge forward. I saw men envy me. With her I was more generous in giving way, for I felt lucky. 

But beauty always came at a cost.

She burned my cash faster than everyone else. She never watched my back. Though nothing was worse than taking her out when other men would look at her and you would know that even if you held the keys to her, any man with the right moves would make off with her, and she would purr for him just like she purred for you.

Toyota Prius

Then I came across the smart, pretty one, the one I had always wanted. She knew her purpose on this planet, which was like others similar to her, to make it a better place, a belief she held onto steadfastly. She required little attention and even more little money. Like she said, that extra battery helped. 

I thought it was love at first sight.

Though after a while, the flaws appear. With her smartness came an obstinacy that she always knew better. She resisted just to show she could and directing her was not as smooth as I wished. When I return her eventually, it will be with the harsh realisation that the smart ones will always be perhaps a tad too smart for me.

And after that, homosexuality might be worth a shot.