You wake up with a sense of disillusionment. Ok perhaps
there is no disillusionment (yet) but you just find it difficult to wake up.
There is nothing to look forward at work. It is like there is no reason to get
up. It is like there is no reason to write. Nothing interests you anymore, not
even the idea of seeing her. You simply cannot get yourself out of bed. “For
what?”, you ask yourself. It’s the same shit, different day. Same mistakes,
different day. Same people, different day.
In other words, it is a bad spell, which could be unconsciously
caused by things that are weighing in on my mind, or sometimes there is no
reason to. It just happens.
All I can say is when you feel like that, take a moment. Take
a moment to appreciate, firstly, that you have the time to feel and then write
about this emotion. That this freedom is perhaps not even afforded to millions
of people across the world. Secondly, appreciate the fact that you are alive,
for tiredness can be the result of a lack of interest in this beautiful things called
life whose best moments we often take for granted. Appreciate there are ones
who love you and ones you can love back. And if you have the courage, take a
moment to tell them that you love them or to make them happy, for you will find
you derive the greatest happiness from making others happy.
Appreciate life and that you are her living it now.
PS: I wrote this when I was feeling like crap. That’s the
interesting thing about writing. As I write, the solution comes and things
usually end on a positive note.
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