Skip to main content

The Pleasures of Companionship

I have always been a proponent of spending time alone, far from the security and comfort provided by one’s close family and friends. This time alone was a statement of independence, that of self-sufficiency, a statement that screamed I am strong enough to survive on my own. In addition, time alone meant one was not subject to the whim of one’s companions. I did what I wanted, how I wanted and when I wanted. That was freedom. And so I often traveled alone, planning the itinerary according to my taste and changing it according to my whims. I neither had to wait for the friend who wanted to snap pictures of every other thing neither did I have to inconvenience my budget to his taste. It was great, at least at first.

Then it got to the point when the loneliness caught up with me, when as I stared at the majestic monument or scenery in awe, I looked to my right and left and realized there was none to share it with. When I had to use the loo, there was no one to watch over my bag, neither was there anyone to make me feel a tad more safe when I was lost in the middle of nowhere.

I once complained to my friend of having to live in a student accommodation where the kitchen was shared and it often meant having to put up with the dirty habits of one’s neighbors. He declared himself fortunate of having a kitchen in his own apartment and not having to share it with anyone. A few days later he would lament how lonely it was for him when I told him of the great conversations I was having with my housemates in the shared kitchen.  

So it is well, give and take. In a world where social circles on Facebook keeps expanding but the one in real life keeps diminishing, a world which values privacy and yet still demands attention, a world where one wants the companionship but not the responsibility and inconveniences attached to it, it is somewhat complicated. As much as I enjoy the long days in Berlin watching the tress swaying outside my window and reading the ‘The 100 Year Old Man who Climbed out of the Window and Disappeared’ while munching on some peanuts in my awfully quiet room, I eagerly look forward to the moment I can pick up my phone, call home and say,

“Hey! Guess what happened yesterday….”


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sparing the Rod

 She gave me a look of deep displeasure, not very atypical of the look most members of the opposite gender gave me. “You know you can’t do that in Germany?”, she asserted with the same authority my mother used to tell me about not messing around in her kitchen.  “Yes I am aware”, I meekly responded, knowing well that any kind of argument about this would not end well, so it was better to close off the topic quietly and unlike the kitchen, I could not afford to get kicked out of Germany. She was not the first to respond with such hostility to what seemed like the most natural of things in my experience. The last one who told me the same was a teacher I had met at a party. When she sounded shocked that I was ok with it and said it was not right, I (with some alcoholic courage) had retorted, “How would you discipline them then if they do something wrong?” “I would tell them I am very disappointed with them”. I almost laughed. However, that was very much the theory of my new frien...

An Eye for an Eye

"Something that three or four years ago you told me was one of the touchstones of maturity: being nice to people even when they’re not nice to you…" - William Styron It was an plan that came out of nowhere. Perhaps half depressed by the winter and half depressed by the inactivity at work, there was sufficient turmoil in the mind to create these type of plans and then let it fester, until something that started off with a what-if turned into a why-not. It would have been the perfect revenge for the past hurt and humiliation that was yet to completely heal.  The circumstances were similar. On one side, an eager visitor who had traveled far to say "Hello" and on the other side, a host, bewildered and surprised by this visit. In the first case, the host would not receive the visitor, who would turn back humiliated and vowing never again. Now the roles were reversed and I was the host. What if I agreed to receive? What if in reality I did not plan to receive? ...

An Ode to Marriage

I remember pondering about the need for marriage during a certain period of my life. Partially inspired by stoicism, I saw a man as an island in a big ocean, continuously being battered by the waves and storms, but holding fort and growing strong with each test. It was also when the idea of monasticism greatly appealed to me, to leave behind, for the lack of a better work, the bullshit of society and trying to attain enlightenment.  Somehow that idea fell apart after a brief meditation stint in a monastery, but the idea of marriage I resisted. The freedom that came from being single seemed too precious to let go. Furthermore life was complicated as it is. Why complicate it further by introducing another person to that life, someone who would bring her own mannerisms, rules, habits, many that might end up conflicting with your own. However, a lot of these ideas and beliefs start to die when friends of yours each start getting into their own relationships and have no more time for yo...