The Switch

It would happen in a moment. A conversation that was going fluently would come to an abrupt end and be replaced by another that was familiar yet foreign. I would feel totally lost, unsure how to reinsert myself into the conversation, how to pick it up again. Meanwhile they would continue blabbering away in their mother tongue, effectively excommunicating me from the liveliness. The sense of loss would turn towards anger against the newcomer.

Though I should have been used to it by now. In Singapore, experiences like this was quite common. Being a minority, one tended to be forgotten as colleagues and friends would switch to Chinese and I would sit there at a loss for words. Some friends would sympathise and ‘switch to Channel 5’ (an English speaking television channel and the term used to refer to a request to speak English). Sometimes it worked, sometimes it did not, for all needed to agree to this. Interestingly, it was not just Indian friends who would complain about being lost at an all Chinese speaking table. I once had a Chinese friend working in a MNC with Indians and Filipinos complain about his meetings turning to Hindi and Tagalog. In other words, it is not a problem specific to any race.    

Though on deeper introspection, it was not so much the inability to participate in the conversation that mattered. It was the fact that I had ceased to exist, that my presence was no longer acknowledged that really offended. After all, as humans we live to be seen and acknowledged. Why else spend so much time, effort and money towards looking, sounding and being different?

Thousands of miles away in Berlin the situation was repeating itself. Instead of Chinese, it was Hindi, a language I had in fact studied for almost 10 years. Yet now, deeply annoyed, I could not be bothered to even try and communicate, instead opting to blame the other person’s insensitivity. Thanks to some elementary Stoic education, I am coming to terms with the fact that I have no control over the actions, attitudes and morality of other people and what I deem offensive might not be the same to them (their take might be English is more difficult to speak). Plus is this not perhaps an opportunity to brush up my Hindi?

Though, still a word of advice to the ones who are oblivious to this issue. It is impolite to speak in a language that is not understood by all in the group. And it is not too late to change.