Life, Laughter and Everything Else

 It was a night without a plan, a night when the Italian restaurant was fully reserved, when the walk had to be called off because my meeting went on for too long, when we could not decide between Indian or Thai food. Eventually we would decide to order in and between placing the order and its delivery was a lengthy gap that had to be filled. "Acho, do you have wine?", I inquired, knowing full well he may not like the idea of my sisters partaking in the drinking. "There is some in the fridge", he acquiesced. I took out the wine glasses, the very first time the crystalline objects were taken out in the house in the absence of any guests. Then the 5 glasses were filled while the whole family sat around the rectangular teapoy in the living room, every one distracted in their own device, expecting yet another uneventful evening of forgettable conversations and arguments. "How about truth or dare?", she suggested. There was not enough alcohol for the game but s...

I used to have a friend who did not come from the most well-off background. After graduation, he made it a point to jump from job to job and with each jump came a significant pay bump. When I hung out with him, his overflowing paycheck was something he would bring up at some point. "I think including bonuses, I am easily making more than a 100k Singapore Dollars monthly", he would proudly declare. Other than wondering about why was it that he brought it up, this comparison would for that moment make me, who earned about half that, feel poor. Unfortunately, it was not just him. The progression from student to adult life brought about some unexpected changes in day to day conversations. Instead of sports, girls or travelling, suddenly there was increased discussions about salaries, investments, making one's wealth grow. What one earned was often asked and the answer would almost always end up making some people happier and some sadder. I remember once when a friend would op...

"Oh there is so much tension right now. We hate the Indians and they hate us back". I was amused at that thought. There I was with all my Indianness, sitting there with two good Chinese friends, having a nice Korean dinner when a topic about the Indian-Chinese territorial dispute came up. I wondered if any part of her realised that I, despite my nationality, fell into the category of people that she professed she and her people hated? Though I could relate to where these feelings came from. If it was China building man made Islands in South East Asia's backyard and even enroaching onto Indian territory, there was a part of me that would get inflamed by all this. Being Singaporean Indian, I probably had twice as much reason to get angry at what I perceived as the new bully in the block starting to take what I considered was mine. Your country's land was by association your land and if your neighbour took over it, he was asking for a fight. Along with the desir...

Your father pokes in just your head through the kitchen door He knows I love it when he does that You stare at me with those big blue eyes You have seen me sitting here before Having the same breakfast day after day Yet you look at me curious, intrigued, unfamiliar I cannot help but smile Like you are the first rays of sunshine in a cold German sky Those big blue eyes, those fluffy cheeks, Those chubby hands and feet Your attempts at speaking that comes out as a shout Incomprehensible yet screaming Here I am. Look at me. Your sweet, addictive smile Your heartfelt , genuine laugh That makes me want to do The strangest of dances The stupidest of voices The most childish of actions The most idiotic of gestures All so I can make you laugh Just one more time. One day you shall grow up By when I would have gone my way. If you were ever to feel one day And one day you will That your life was worth nothing That it had no meaning Reme...

It came without warning, though like the seasons, a week of summer had to be balanced by another week of winter. Was it fatigue? Was it loneliness? Or was it both? I could keep my mind off it during the day, clicking between tabs, choosing between entertainments, alternating between colleagues' requests. However, what had begun on a quiet Sunday, laid dormant, waiting for me to finish my tasks so it could drag me down again, into an uninterrupted melancholia. Longings for home, family, friends, anything that was familiar and comforting replayed in my mind. Old and once dismissed hurts came back to sting. Though worst were the questions, why I a feeling this way? What happened to drag me down for the optimism of the previous week? What was making me sad? I turn to literature, spirituality and writing. Rumi verses placate me and gives me hope. This human being is a guest house every morning a new arrival A joy, a depression, a meanness some momentary awareness comes an...

Why do I long for the past?  For the family  with their familiar tongues, their familiar faces,  their familiar laughs, their familiar comforts Why do I long for the past? For the youth,  with its youthful friendships,  its youthful energy, its youthful ignorance,  its youthful promise. Why do I long for the past? If they were once all, past, present and future.

So I called my mother and told her “Ma, I am ready to get married. Go find me a wife”. It was clearly not my intention to take this track, but after years going through an all boys education, 2 years in the testosterone filled army, another 4 years in Engineering and then jumping from one Engineering firm to another, all I remember seeing was men, men and more bloody men. And when you ex finally decides to find herself a boyfriend and all your closest friends decides to get married within the same 2 month period, it hits you. “Fuck, I need to find someone”. The general tendency in such cases was to grab the nearest woman you can find and ask her out, but when living in a country where foreigners are generally viewed with overall suspicion, any kind of grabbing ,of anything, was highly advised against. And when your white friend next to you with his crappy pictures was getting more Tinder matches than you with your best pictures, at some point you come to realise that 1) Yo...