Skip to main content

Parenting and all that


I write this after my sisters' graduation ceremony, a rather ostentatious ceremony considering that the graduation from my own college took place on the last day school and the ceremony was not very different from the usual school assembly. But times have changed, practices have changed and people have changed. 
Around me are all the proud parents of the graduates of this elite institution. When you look at some of them, it is difficult to say to whom this event assumes more significance, to them or their children who are graduating. There are some who are there simply there to fulfil their customary duty as parents but unless I am wrong, most are here because this event signifies not just a milestone in the lives of their children, but in their very own lives. As the principal kicks off the ceremony, listing the names of the elites of the elites and boasting the numerous academic accolades of the students. Names such as Harvard, Cambridge, DSTA, A Star all comes up frequently during his speech and he ends by claiming that a a 'bright future of opportunity awaits this talented group'.

I suppose this is what makes parenting truly satisfying, the proof that your child is succeeding and therefore the proof that you yourself have succeeded in the role as parents. Parenting is all about the emotional satisfaction. Of late, I have had quite a few discourses with my friend, who despite having a girlfriend is strongly against the idea of having kids. His defense is simply this ' Why would anyone ever want to have kids?' 

To be honest, in current times, it is an extremely sound defense. In the past, during the times of the extended family, having many kids ensured that there were extra hands to help the parents at work or in the house and when they became old, the kids would be there to see them through their old age. Now, having kids translates to more work and more stress. And once they reach a certain age, they move out and start their own families. If you consider the whole decision from a rational point of view, it simply does not make sense to have kids anymore.

But humans are more emotional than rational. And despite the numerous difficulties of parenting, they recognise and appreciate the little moments of joy that parenting brings along with it. Either because of that  or because the contraception did not work, they carry on having kids.  Even Ali G the comedian, acknowledged the huge sacrifice parents make for their children during his speech at the  commencement ceremony at Harvard, 

"All you fathers out there, You have made some choices. With that money (the $38000 they sped on their child's tuition fees), you could have bought a top of the range Lexus, but instead you chose to invest in your kids future."

But then he added on right after.

"Are you mental?"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Fool's Pride

I was rolling up the sleeve of my uniform, preparing for a call up that might never come, when I realised that somehow I was overcome by a strange sense of pride, a pride that wanted the length of my sleeve to be precise as I have always pictured in my mind. Any longer, I would look shabby. Any shorter, I would look amateur. Then I donned the green, tightened the velcro around my waist and looked in the mirror. It was just like before and the memories started flooding me. I never really liked it when I donned it for 2 years in a row. Then I was in a place where I detested the culture, the harsh discipline, the unreasonable demands and the lack of purpose in everything I did. But now that it was over, when I look back, it was perhaps the greatest time of my life. The suffering, the digging, the starving, the cold, the banter, the rowdiness, the jungle, the marches,the mountains, the food, the stories, the friendships, it was all worth the 2 years. A girl friend of mine once asked...
2 comments
Read more

Clubbing

Somebody up there do not want me to club. It has been one experience that has eluded me despite my multiple visits, that has brought as much excitement as me sitting in a meditative pose.  This is all the more interesting because my intention was simply to get a feel of it, and not kickstart a career as a party animal, that would either way not work for a person who dared not even to dance in the shower. Perhaps  though, it is not the circumstances, but the person to blame. I should have known I was not the party kind the very first time I set off. As I was tying my shoe laces, my father would politely enquire where I was going to. “Going to club”, I responded. “What? Like a community club?”, he carried on. I am not the most superstitious of persons, but when you are about to do something, it has to start off on the right tone. There and then, my father set the expectations of me, and all the stamps I received on my waist before entering the club became but so...
1 comment
Read more

Marriage and All That : Part 2

"How about I get married?" "Are you serious?" "Yea" "No really. If you are serious, I can start looking for one" "Uhh....Nah. I was just kidding" After a while, she stopped asking me if I were serious. Instead, she would laugh it off every time I suggested it, which was the original intention of my question. For me it was just comic relief, this idea of marriage that parents back in India would pester their children with once they reached just about where I was right now; young, working with a steady income and of totally no use at home. Though when she did ask me if I was serious, I do remember feeling a palpitation in my heart, the kind one gets when having to make a yuge decision (#trump2016 #makeamericagreatagain), knowing very well that she, along with an army of aunts, waited for my green light to start searching for a bride for the most promising of their nephews. A NRI (non residential Indian used to refer to the ...
2 comments
Read more