Prejudice

 Twenty one percent.

A dismal figure. Assuming, usually correctly, that the bulk of the respondents thought too highly of themselves, chances are that the actual figure was even lower than that. Nevertheless, to think that this was the marriageable acceptance rating for Indians among the majority Chinese population, the figure was damning in the options that I had considered myself to have.

Of late, in the conversations with friends, more often that not the question is posed to me if I am open to the option of marrying someone from outside my race. I have to simply state 'friends' for with close friends, its not a question, but an accusation that I have always preferred Chinese girls. I do very candidly admit my guilt to that charge, though in my defence, that was primarily due to one factor; availability. I have to go back to Primary School to last find an Indian girl who studied in the same class as me. 

It was my sisters who would give me a lesson in the book of race relations. Modern, attractive, compassionate and intelligent, they had no shortage of suitors (unlike me), though they distinctly preferred Indian men and had a strong contempt for Indian men with preference for Chinese girls (like me). On why they spurned their Chinese suitors, they would explain,

"For the Chinese, we are considered a step down. If a Chinese guy marries me, he is looked at with a  are-you-so-lousy-you-couldnt-get-a-chinese-girl? attitude"

The survey proved pretty much that, that despite all the education we claim to have, the openness we claim to embrace, the multi-racial society we claim to celebrate, at heart, we house petty prejudices. I do not blame the Chinese because I myself have them. In fact almost every majority population in any country consider themselves superior to the minorities and minorities consider themselves superior to other minorities (and even sometimes to the majority). In the Canadian Indian community, I once heard that Indian families would set their children the condition they could marry anyone except a BMW (Black, Muslim or White). You have to love the irony that the very minorities whom you would expect to be able to see through racial prejudices, given their experiences with race relations, were sometimes the very ones perpetuating it.

Do I have a solution? Well, no. I do think bringing up the topic and creating that awareness is in itself a step forward, something I have to applaud Straits Times for, given their other articles usually make me question why they have not closed down yet. With time, differences should blur. Until then I will have to painfully put up with the hidden truth in the good-intentioned statement my female Chinese friend once told me,

"Krishnan, if you were Chinese, you confirm have girlfriend by now".

It sounded good then. It doesn't sound so good now.