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An Ode to Marriage

I remember pondering about the need for marriage during a certain period of my life. Partially inspired by stoicism, I saw a man as an island in a big ocean, continuously being battered by the waves and storms, but holding fort and growing strong with each test. It was also when the idea of monasticism greatly appealed to me, to leave behind, for the lack of a better work, the bullshit of society and trying to attain enlightenment.  Somehow that idea fell apart after a brief meditation stint in a monastery, but the idea of marriage I resisted. The freedom that came from being single seemed too precious to let go. Furthermore life was complicated as it is. Why complicate it further by introducing another person to that life, someone who would bring her own mannerisms, rules, habits, many that might end up conflicting with your own.

However, a lot of these ideas and beliefs start to die when friends of yours each start getting into their own relationships and have no more time for you. I once had a male friends who went to almost 35 without any thought about family or marriage because he had 2 other close single buddies to hang out with and suddenly one of them got into a relationship and disappeared, leaving him and the other friend wondering what they had been doing for the last 35 years and rush to find a girlfriend. Partly due to disappearing friends, partly due to my age, partly due to studies showing married people were happier off, I decided to give it a shot and told my parents to find me a partner. 

Almost a year into it, despite the perpetual long distance, I am starting to understand why married couple can tend to be happier off than unmarried ones. In a a beautiful world without corona, where bars are all open and there are hundreds of friends to meet everyday, being single can seem liberating. Unfortunately in a corona world, where one is locked up in one's room most of the time and all the more when one is single, one's significance disappears and we find ourselves lonely and disconnected without family and friends. 

It is precisely when a crisis hits that one finds a lot of value in having a person to turn to and share the little routines, worries and happenings in life. Because life in itself is meaningless and we are all possibly the random byproducts/creations of a superior being. However, as a result of evolution and evolutionary tendencies, most of us do have a basic need to be acknowledged, to be recognised as a significant speck in this meaningless universe and during these tough times, it is reassuring to know someone gives a shit about you, regardless of how far away she might be from you.

Money does not make the world go round, love does. Money is simply the misguided means to attain that love.

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